Day 3 (The 40 to my 20)

Sarahn Says – Time is moving so quickly. It’s already Day 3! October! Autumn! Beauty! Today was the first day of this journey where I was able to feel everything happening around me. As I walked across campus I felt the breeze flow through me. When I looked up I saw God, and when I looked down I became grateful for being able to move on my own; I watched my feet and was aware that every step was bringing me closer and closer to my destination. I’d like to think that each of these days is kind of like a step, getting me closer to where I want to be. While Day 1 was full of conscious thoughts and actions, and Day 2 full of chaos and disorder, Day 3 has been full of nothing but love. The one interaction I had with a friend today was one of the most gratifying moments of my time here at college.  We talked about the power of time, sacrifice and favor; what it means to give all that you have and the uncertainty of getting it all in return. It made me think about generosity and how my desire to give puts me in a constant state of vulnerability to everything good and bad in the world. That led me to thinking about how amazing it feels to give someone love, joy, hope, peace…and how even when the same is not returned to us, we might feel weak in the moment but that amazing feeling we get from giving never changes. I used to think I did things for people because I wanted them to do the same for me. “I’ll give you my last dollar, would you give me yours?, I’ll listen to you vent for hours, can I get a piece of your time?, I’ll open up to you, but could you be just as honest with me?” I realized today that thinking in this way went against my true intention behind giving. I didn’t need proof that people I gave to would return the favor. I just needed to feel like I was recognized as someone who exudes graciousness, and kindness. On Day 3, I looked in the mirror and for the first time saw these things in myself. Don’t let the expectations you have of others cloud your view of what it means to live a life worth living. A life worth living is one where self-love and self-knowledge lead you in all that you do. A life worth living is one where you understand that all the beautiful things in life can only be received by giving. #sarahnsays

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