I woke up today, thinking that today was the last day of winter! I mean we’re having a “snowstorm” in Philadelphia right now. But I learned sometime in the mid-afternoon that today, March 20th, is actually the first day of Spring. Which means that my Sacred Woman Winter has officially come to an end. I’ve made it through the dark windy nights of solitude, salubrity, and structure. Reflecting on these past three months, I’ve realized, I lost complete intention on dedicating my winter to those 3 S’s. I did learn a lot however about myself, those around me, and where I am going in my life. The ultimate lesson, of course, is that no self-work is ever completely done and that seasons become raindrops in the waterfalls of our lives.
I’m learning more and more everyday, my power as a woman, a friend, a teacher, a student. I’m becoming better at those roles as life forces me to experience myself in new unknown ways. This Sacred Woman Winter has been very much like a journal for me to express my thoughts and feelings about my growing process. But reflecting on THIS growing process, I am reminded that I am always returning to evolution. I am never stagnant, or stale. Never broken or burned. I am sometimes, a wilted flower, who needs just a little of mother nature’s elements to stand me back up right. I am, all the time, an imperfect human who is constantly reflecting and analyzing my life, to blossom brighter, and withstand stronger winds.
Nothing in my life has really stayed the same over the past 3 months. My mind is stronger, my heart beats louder, my back is straighter, and my hair withstands gravity now more than ever. And my spirit is more still than it’s ever been before, leaving hibernation for the spring.
“Most of us are angry, most of us are strangely, more alike than we like to believe. Most of us are empty, most of us are simply, more alive in the scenes of our dreams. Then there’s you. You’ve got something I’ve been wanting, ooooh, you’re so new. You’re my salvage, you’re my balance, oooh, you’re so new.
Most of us are hurting, most of us are searching, for someone to love, someone to understand. Most the time I’m fighting, multiple voices residing in my head. Then there’s you. You bring silence to my violent truth, yes you do. Oooooh, you’re my salvage, you’re my balance, oooh, you’re so new.”
I feel so close to God. This week I was able to accomplish so many of my goals and move forward on my journey to greatness. Before I have felt pressured to act in certain ways knowing that wasn’t exactly what my spirit wanted or where my love lived. But more and more it feels so natural to do certain things and just be. I love it! I love the energy I have even when I don’t get sleep. I love the fulfillment I get from being alone. I love the newness of my relationship with myself and the most high. It feels so pure and genuine and full.
When I first heard the lyrics to Jhene Aiko’s ‘New Balance’, I thought of love lost, and love found. I haven’t won every battle in love. Loving myself, loving others, being a constant reflection of love, are things I am continuously learning through trial and error. But as I am finding my ‘New Balance’ of love, the presence of God is everywhere inside of and around me. So when I think about what it means to find balance, a new balance, that silences the violence of the chaos of my life, I feel so at peace and purposed in just being who I am, accepting and encouraging myself every step of the way.
“There is a love, That is shining for you. Coming in to make you whole. It’s
shining for you, coming in to make you whole.” – India.Arie
This week was COLD! Literally more than figuratively. The weather in Philadelphia was as low as 11 degrees this week. It seems like Winter came right when it was suppose to…we are feeling it! But I must say I’m feeling warm and fuzzy in my little corner of the universe.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15)
I really enjoyed the time I spent this week, just spending time with loved ones and having that good ole’ quality ME TIME I so desperately need. I got a massage this week, gave my nails, hair and body some TLC and spent NYE right where I belong…on my yoga mat in child’s pose, praying and thanking God for another year of life.
I debated going out but decided I was going to spend that ‘special’ moment by myself this time. It seems like the older I get, certain moments feel less special or unique. I’m realizing that your life moments are more defined by you than by others. Either way, I am super excited for 2018 and can’t wait to grow and blossom and evolve these next 12 months. I feel like this is just going to be a very special year of taking care of certain things…myself being the number one thing on that list.
This week I reflected on this past year. I worked on writing pieces for what seemed like hours, never at any moment getting tired, or bored. I took a bath, and talked to myself about everything that’s causing me some once of pain right now. It was so freeing. I found myself asking questions to imaginary people in my head, waiting for their imaginary answers and finding the answers on my own. Sometimes thats how life goes. You have to find the answers on your own.
This week ended with a snow day that kept me in house, filled my mind with sheets of cleanliness and reminded me that life needs to slow down sometimes so we can monitor our breathing and feel our heartbeats.
My goals for this next week include, reading and writing everyday, not complaining about the cold when I’m out in it, but instead just enjoying the beauty of nature, continuing to wake up early and getting to work right away, and replacing every negative thought in my head with a positive one.
I AM A SACRED WOMAN. WATCH ME WIN. HEAR ME ROAR. SEE ME SOAR.
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life, the youngest I’ll ever be, the oldest I’ve ever been and the 1st day of Winter. Summer found its way into late October and following suit, winter seems to be approaching when it wants. But time regardless of the weather or the day of the week – waits for no one. EVOLUTION, the cousin of TIME has been following me these past few months. A shadow of growth, which appears to be larger than myself, is with me noon and night and I have grown anxious with its presence. I know and understand that during this time in my life, I must channel all that is within me and find the courage and strength to be the best version of myself I’ve ever been. This means that I will have to ask the Universe questions, and in return listen to what it is telling me. I must be persistent and committed to my goals and treat my body with love and respect. I must surround myself with not only people and things that bring me comfort and joy, but also with people and things that challenge my adaptability and will power; that force me to reflect and respond in ways that are stronger and wiser, that reach further and higher.
It is my objective to education and celebrate myself with the 3 following things in my mind, heart and soul: STRUCTURE, SALUBRITYandSOLITUDE!
STRUCTURE 1.(noun) the arrangement of and relations between the parts or elements of something complex. 2.(verb) construct or arrange according to a plan; give a pattern or organization to.
SALUBRITY1.(adjective) favorable to or promoting health; healthful.
SOLITUDE1.(noun) the state or situation of being alone.2.(noun) remoteness from habitations, as of a place; absence of human activity. 3.(noun) a lonely, unfrequented place.
WHOLE, WELL AND WISE FOR THE WINTER.
I have chosen these three things based on my past experiences, and present circumstances but mostly on my future hopes and dreams for life.
Proverbs 24:14 – In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future, and your hopes will not be cut short.
The importance of solitude to me at this time in my life, is simple. I’m growing up. I’m changing. And for the first time, I’m autonomous over most aspects of my life. This means I have to get used to doing things on my own, building my dreams for myself, with myself and by myself. If I am not comfortable evolving in my own skin without the approval and security of other people, my muscles will not grow to full capacity. I’ll never know how strong I can be spiritually and mentally on my own.
“If someone does not want me, it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.” – Nayyirah Waheed
Ohhh… and look at this message I posted on Facebook…8 years ago TODAY!
LIFE IS AN UNDISCOVERED BALANCE OF MAGIC AND TENSION, AND TODAY NEVER COMES TWICE.
Structure and salubrity are also simple. I have to command organization and productivity in my everyday life. I have to manifest and execute success by being able to set goals for myself and then accomplish them…and I have to feel good while doing it. I need to feel great about doing it. My body, mind and spirit must be centered and moving in the direction of my growth.
Today, I know who I am and I love myself. I know what I’ve been through and what I’ve learned throughout my life. One thing that I’ve learned is that you can never stop learning and growing and evolving. The more open you are to receiving from the world, the more places you’ll go, the more people you’ll see, and the more you’ll know. And you’ll never know everything but you can learn a lot about a lot of things. And I’m celebrating all of that!
MY EDUCATION CELEBRATION.
During ‘My Sacred Woman Winter’ I am reading the book Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind and Spiritby Queen Afua. The book included Nubian Philosophy, Womb Wisdom and chapters on Food, Movement, Healing and Relationships, for the body, mind and spirit. I will be reading the book and journaling from my experiences both inside and outside the book over the next 12 weeks.
For the winter months, along with reading the book, I will be praying, meditating and stretching twice daily. I am also eating mostly a plant-based diet, and drinking as much water as possible. I’m challenging myself to get to bed earlier and wake up earlier…the real test of discipline. And lastly I’m blueprinting and building the next few years of my life including growing my business, returning to school, and preparing for the demands of adulthood.
I AM A SACRED WOMAN. WATCH ME WIN. HEAR ME ROAR. SEE ME SOAR.